• cover art & compilation by aleXander hirka
22 December 2009

watch Tom Lehrer perform Masochism Tango

“They lay so close together, they made me much in wonder
I knew not which was wether, until I saw her under
Then off he came, & blusht for shame soe soon that he had endit;
Yet still she lies, and to him cryes, “once more and none can mend it.”
– Walking In A Meadow Greene – Anonymous 1700s


“While she stared on into the night
Drinking from her Aramaic chalice
And thrilling herself
With an onyx handled tapir snout”
– The Belle Of Avenue A – The Fugs

“Well like a bitch dog in heat
We had those bed springs squeakin’ all day long
And didn’t you hear those walls a talkin’ voodoo”
– Get On Top – Tim Buckley

I ache for the touch of your lips dear
But much more for the touch of your whips, dear
You can raise welts like nobody else
As we dance to the Masochism Tango”
– Masochism Tango – Tom Lehrer

“To not to have to pretend that he was drunk
When he seduced his roommate on his bunk
He might be bi he might be gay
But he knows he’s finally ready to say
Some of the things he’s constantly thinking of
By joining the Cocksucker Club.”
– Cocksucker Club – Pansy Division

“Why can’t we boink?
The road’s at a fork, so it’s time that we pork and go oink
Why can’t we boink?
Time to get goink!”
Why Can’t We Fuck – Kinsey Sicks

“Do anything you like, and do it just how you like it
But when you feel you wanna scream, baby, don’t fight it
‘Cuz every time I hear the noise comin’ from your lips
You’re gonna feel the rotation in my hips.”
– Sexy Noises – Salt ‘N’ Pepa

“I was starting to get very depressed –
so I went to the Kiev, and at breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark’s Place,
where all those people sell used books –
and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him –
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen”
– Detachable Penis – King Missile

“You even made it with the lady
who puts the little plastic bobbins on the christmas cakes.”
– Orgasm Addict – The Buzzcocks

“You smell nice and you’re groovy
and we both like foreign movies
my mother says you have that touch of class
Well I can see a shining future
where we’ll dialog and nurture
but there’s one last thing I feel I need to ask . . .
Do you take it in the ass?”
– Do You Take It – The Wet Spots

“On the edge makin’ faces and stuff
Through the night, making so much love
Dead sleep when the sun comes up
So lick it now, lick it good . . . “
– My Neck, My Back – Khia

“Internet Porn (melonlove dot com)
Internet Porn (there’s my neighbor’s mom)
Internet Porn
(bikers wearing diapers chasing nurses dressed like Smurfs)”
– Internet Porn – Da Vinci’s Notebook

 

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